| This is the perfect place for a rant. No one reads this crap anymore.
So anyway here it goes! I'll go ahead and say this, I love my niece and nephew, don't get me wrong, I LOVE THEM with all of my heart. I'm just saying its not right! I am in college, a junior at Baylor...I've made dean's list every semester, graduated sixth in my class, am in a honor society and am working. To me these are accomplishments, big ones! No one in my immediate family has graduated from college, much less a top Texas school, and none of them make the grades I make. I do my best to gain approval but its not enough. My sister has two children and she and them get ALL of the attention and praise. I don't even have to go to family gatherings anymore cause no one gives a crap if I'm even there, the only ones they want to see are the little ones. I'm no longer important. I've passed on through to the invisible side. People don't want to spend time with me, they want to spend time with the babies.
My spring break blew! It completely sucked. I worked, and had plans to go the zoo, museum and a movie....the only one of my plans that worked out was a movie and the only reason that did is cause Jacob screwed up and it was his way of apologizing. The weather made most of the others near impossible. But now I'm back at school...I had the worst day in a while yesterday and it was only made worse when I found out that my grandmother, aunt, and cousins took my sister and her kids to the zoo! What the crap! No one even thinks of me anymore. I only found out cause they posted pics on myspace...GAY! They didn't even intend on telling me. Today I found out my sister and her little attention hogs got invited to go to the Botanic Gardens. My spring break blew, but now that I'm out of the way, this week is going great back home. Its all a little upsetting. I feel like the only way to get attention, approval, acceptance..etc. is to have a kid. People don't give a crap what else I do. I work my butt off but WHO CARES! I don't deserve a decent break, consideration....whatever.
To add to all this, I move to St. Louis in August, you know to finish my degree and graduate..but that's not important. So you'd think people would want to invite me to hang out before I move away and they won't see me for a year, but no....I'm nothing, not important.
I realize I sound like a selfish, attention seeking brat..but who really gives a flying fart in space. No one is reading this so I can be selfish, its not like I'll receive that attention.
Anyway, time to shower.....
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